Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize