1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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