textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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