garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
where am i from again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
