nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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