I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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