i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
