mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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