I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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