If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
