Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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