I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
