he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
