just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
