just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Mom said you looked used
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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