Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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