What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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