beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
