so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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