i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
