Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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