Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Do vagina's smell?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
