yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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