"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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