Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
