people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
cat food counts as protein by the way
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
