My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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