I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
