I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
