Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize