The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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