David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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