I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
its liver damage thursday
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
