After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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