I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
