woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
