she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
