If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
