Just cropdusted the office
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize