I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
