I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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