...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
