My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need a beard to bite.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And then he peed in my hair
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