Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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