I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
