it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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