We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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