New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
