Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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