Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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