Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
