never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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