I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
