I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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