she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
