I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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