ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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