one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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