UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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