belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
