I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
