which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
