My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
