Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
